Archive for June, 2012

It’s just a joke


Take a look at this joke. After you chuckle, let me clue you into why this joke is truly disturbing.  A 18-year-old girl thought this joke was funny and distributed this joke to others. Before you accuse me of being overly sensitive, keep reading to understand why this action of this probably beautiful 18 year-old girl upsets me beyond words.

First, it’s only a joke, right? What’s the big deal, you say? Let me break this joke down further. Let me explain what the real issue is for me. Why would this joke lead to a post?  Hmm, perhaps because the breakdown in communication screams out in this joke which unfortunately is very common today in our youth as well as adults.

I have no issue with the fact the guy was looking at a girl porn site. I find it offensive that women today still don’t understand that men need additional stimulus daily. There is nothing wrong with men looking at other women in any form whether naked or dressed. It is a basic fact that woman need to realize. That issue of insecurity within women to judge men for this behavior makes me nuts too. In the words of  the great Jeff Foxworthy, “Ladies, men are simple. Give them a beer and show them something naked.” So, if she would have accepted his answer, there would be no need to discuss this further.

I also have no issue with the guy describing the problem of weight of the woman.  Truth needs to be told if you truly care about a person. Holding back the truth is never acceptable period. If she is in fact overweight, then by all means, he should be honest in answering this question. As well, if he would have been honest in why he needed another outlet of sexual entertainment, maybe the weight issue wouldn’t have come up at all. Something like….”Yes, honey, you are a tad heavy but that’s not why I look at this site. I enjoy women of all sizes and it trips my trigger. Do you really mind?” If he could have phrased that answer with a tad bit more consideration like that, I would not be writing this.

Here’s the issue that is bugging me. They are both guilty of not being honest to each other. They are both guilty of a true lack of consideration for each other. As well, this is acceptable humor that our youth embraces?  God, doesn’t that bother anyone? I get that older people will see this and laugh their asses off since we are a tad more jaded anyway. But a beautiful young girl is already that blind to this issue? Wow, that’s not ok.

At 18, she accepts the fact that this guy humiliated this girl. By the act of sending this joke out to others, she obviously agrees with him. Which in turn is now safe to assume that she applauds the way he handled the situation of further insulting the girl. Now, where do you think her self-esteem is at this point if this is funny to her seriously.  As well,  it safe to assume that she identifies with the guy. Think about that for a second. She should find this offensive for the simple fact that another woman is being humiliated. She should be empathetic to this woman’s rejection. This young woman is already so jaded that she can’t see how wrong this whole joke is or the implications that this joke presents. Wow, that is huge.
The whole joke reeks of insecurity, rejection, and humiliation, but how many people laugh at that today. Mind you, I am far from being on the politically correct bandwagon. I find a ton of offensive humor truly fantastic. Perhaps I am being too sensitive, but the underlying issues of this innocent joke choked all the humor out of it for me.

My beautiful 5-year-old in quite a few years will encounter this type of situation with this type of guy possibly. How bad will it be then? Sigh…so teach her to be bitter young so she won’t be disappointed later when dealing with men? Do I prepare her for the utter breakdown of consideration in her communication with men so I won’t listen to her cry herself to sleep?  How do possibly explain this to her so that she will understand?  Honey, relationships will be utterly brutal without any consideration for your feeling so make sure you don’t let it bother you?
So the mother in me responded last night in anger to this joke. In the light of day, the writer edited this piece with clear thought of how this joke impacted me. It is not the rantings of a bitter women, but the clear concern of a mother for a child that will face this type of situation that prompted this post. I hope it makes some impact.


I really have tried to ignore this taboo topic due to the type of attention and/or flack I could get for discussing this. However, this is an issue that makes me bat shit crazy. Really, let’s talk about this topic since I can’t tell you how many tweets I see regarding this.

Ok, first irritation, tweetA meets tweetB. TweetA likes tweetB which leads to tweeting. TweetA has other tweets their tweeting with. TweetB finds out and goes ape-shit with accusation of cheating????????? Are you fucking kidding me? Seriously, tweeting relationships are a simple outlet that is free, fun, uncomplicated, and should be condition free. Let’s face it, it really is hard to meet people today. Not to mention, sex isn’t really safe anymore. So to combat this problem, chat rooms as well as twitter have exploded in the number of people participating in these types of activities. That being said, this type of situation with tweetA & tweetB should not exist, right??? Wrong!

Lets make a list of some basic rules that should apply between people engaging in this type of activity & see if we can suck the drama out of some tweets problems, ok?


1. Age must be stated clearly before any activity begins due to safety issues and consent problems that plague most adult fun. Shouldn’t have to include this one but in the heat of the moment, you would be surprise what you can forget to ask which could burn your ass later.

2. Clearly state what you are wanting out of this tweeting activity and be honest. Online seems to be a place where most people release a part of them that no one else sees. However, in relationship online, remember that you will find yourself reverting back to real self. So just be utterly honest to avoid future issues.

3. Realize that a tweeting relationship is NOT a real relationship despite the feeling involved. The mind is a very powerful receptor that produces feelings you would never dream it capable of. Please use logic to filter these feelings into logical conclusions. Realize that real relationship rules do not apply to tweeting since it really is all spur of the moment fun & self pleasure.

4. Possessive, jealous, rejection, heartache, betrayal are not words that should ever describe a tweeting relationship. If they are, end it now. The only words that do apply are friendship, understanding, tolerance, patience, support, tenderness, affection, and pleasure.

5. If at any given time, either party decides to end the relationship, remember to be friends. If you possess the maturity to engage in an tweeting relationship, then you should have the maturity to end it in a pleasant, kind way with continued support given freely between each other. Remember it was the friendship that began the tweeting so don’t lose that due to the heat fizzing out.

Ok, that should cover the basics. Just keep in mind that tenderness with a healthy dose of respect is what everyone is searching for online and in the real world. Apply that principle and you will never lose in either place. If anyone wants to add to this list, shoot me a tweet (@kl_phipps) & I will add to it often. Just my lowly opinion for what it is worth! But this is not an open invitation for everyone to attempt at tweeting with me ok???? Hence don’t blow up my damn DM cause I discussed something making me bat shit crazy!!!!!!

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